"Oh, there's absolutely no need to worry! The transportation system is rigorously tested and 100% safe!"

Q smacks the side of the tube for emphasis. It lets out another burst of air, this one suspiciously like someone coughing.

"But if you're still really worried... This is just between you and me okay?" Q leans in, eyes darting around before they whisper in your ear. "It's really just a hyperlink to the submissions site with a little flavor text. The system's even hosted on easychair! Very standard stuff. The webmaster just wanted to throw in some theatrics." When they pull away, Q has a bright smile on their face. "And doesn't it look fun?"